Sunday, March 13, 2011

Customers 20

A man, late 20's or early 30's, dark hair and beard, wearing jeans and a jacket came up to the counter with some magazines. Redbook, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, Martha Stewart Living, and Skunk.

"I need to do this in two transactions. I'll pay for these on a credit card," he said, pointing to a pile. "This one," and he pointed to Skunk, I'll pay cash for."

  Redbook (1-year auto-renewal)  Good Housekeeping (1-year auto-renewal)  Martha Stewart Living (1-year auto-renewal)  Skunk Magazine (The seed the weed and the wardrobe, Volume 5 Issue 8 2010)

My guess? He doesn't want his wife to know he's buying Skunk.


A couple came up to the Information desk. She: late 20's, dark red, almost maroon hair, angled hair cut, nice make-up, jeans and boots. He: Short reddish blond hair, jeans and a t-shirt.

"I'd like to know if you have a book. I'LL MATURE WHEN I'M DEAD

     I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

I looked it up. "It's actually coming out in paperback in a few weeks, so we don't have the hardcover in the store. Most people want to wait for the paperback. I can pre-order a copy of the paperback, or I can order a hardcover for you if you'd like."

"Hmm," she said. "Darn it. I was hoping to get it tonight."

The man she was with picked up a book from the table behind them. "Hey, look at this," he said to her. He showed her a book.

     Farts: A Spotter's Guide

She looked at it and laughed. "Are those buttons?"

"Yep," I said. "Go ahead and push them. People do it all the time. One of our managers does it almost every time he walks by this table."

He pushes one of the buttons. A fart noise is produced. We all laugh.

"The book I asked about? I'LL MATURE WHEN I'M DEAD? I want it for him. She pointed to her companion. Could you tell?"

"That doesn't surprise me," I said, laughing. "Do you want to order a copy?"

"Yeah, let's do that," she said.


A woman came up to the counter. Short blond hair, black turtleneck, she put a book on the counter.

"I'd like this, please," she said in a quiet voice.

      Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life

"Sure," I said. "Do you have one of our club cards? It saves at least 10% every time you shop."

"Um, I don't think I have one of those," she said, quietly.

"Would you like one?", I asked.

"Um, well, hmm..." She looked down.

"Extra coupons come in email..."

"Um, I, uh..."

Done with my spiel, and knowing she didn't want a card but wasn't able to come right out and say so, I whispered and pointed at the subtitle on her book (When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life), "It's okay, you don't have to get one.' And in my regular voice, "That'll be $14.95, please."

One of the most appropriate purchases, ever.


Thanks for reading the blog! You can send email to: 2of3RsATgmailDOTcom.

1 comment:

  1. Grinning after reading your latest post. Thank you.
    Side note: I bought the fart book for my "I'll Mature When I'm Dead" partner and he loves it. LOVES it.