Tuesday, June 22, 2010

MORE Parenting in the Bookstore

The day before Father's Day, a young woman (maybe 18?) with a head scarf approached me in the aisle of the store and asked where the parenting books were. I took her to the section and asked if she was looking for a particular book. She said she wanted something for Father's Day, so I asked if she wanted a book of sayings, or inspirational stories about dads? Maybe dads and daughters? She said no, that wasn't quite it. Was there something on parenting?

I asked her how old the children were, I wasn't sure if it was for her husband (though she seemed pretty young to be married and have any kids), or for her own dad. She said it was for her father, and she is worried about her brother, who is 7 years old. She wanted something for her father to help him, but it can't really look like it's trying to tell him what to do as a parent.

I asked her if her dad was kind of old school, old fashioned, is he the head of the house, and she said yes, definitely. She said there is yelling and he thinks that the kids should just fall in line. She and her mother thought that a book for Father's Day might be good, was there anything that might help guide him without looking as though it's guiding him?

I showed her some that I have found helpful, or have heard were good...How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, which I thought was excellent, a new and very popular one is Parenting with Love and Logic, and Parking Lot Rules, and also Positive Discipline. She wasn't sure any of those would work, as they assume (as parenting books do), that the parent needs to change something they are doing to affect change in the kids. AND, most parents read them because they KNOW something needs to change. And it didn't sound like this dad felt as though he needed to change anything.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will TalkParenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition)Parking Lot Rules & 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing ChildrenPositive Discipline
I told her that I thought she was sent on a pretty tough errand. She smiled. She knew it was difficult.

She took several of them and said she would call her mom and get her input. I didn't find out which one she chose, if any.

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