"Do you have a novel about a whale? But not Moby Dick? Something more readable than Moby Dick?" (I suggested Fluke by Christopher Moore.)
"Do you have any books about a donkey named Hector? Where I keep my horses there is a donkey named Hector and it would be so great to have a book about Hector who is a donkey to give to the woman who runs the place." (um, no, I can't find anything like that at all...maybe you ought to write one).
"Do you have that book about the houses? It's really a lovely book. There is blue on the cover. You should have it. You should know it. Powell's has it." (we need a little more information than a color on the cover and 'houses'.)
"Do you know where I can get some rennet?" (from a woman buying books about making cheese. and no, I don't know where to get it.)
"I'm looking for this book", he says as he hands me a piece of paper that says Sarmaj "Blondness".
I think for a moment and say, "Jose Saramago wrote a book called Blindness, could that be it?"
"No", he says, "It's Blondness."
"Weeellll, let me go get this one, just in case..." I bring Blindness to him and he says "Well, that might be it."
"I need a book on how to change your identity," he asked with a significant lisp. Not sure exactly what he wanted, I asked for a little more information...like how to change your gender? No. Like witness protection program changing your identity? Yeah, more like that. I found one published in 2002. He ordered it. I hoped it covered 'fixing your speech impediment'.
"Do you have Soil Conservation and Management?" I took him to the section and said, "It's one of our best sellers." He didn't even smile.
"Do you have How to Kill a Mockingbird?" (And I want to say, "Yep, right over here in the hunting section." But I don't.)